Friday, May 4, 2018

Beware Of Narcissists and Sociopaths!

It is no surprise that there is a growing number of sociopaths and narcissists in our current world.  Our whole system breeds more and more of them each day through the fundamentals of capitalism, socialism, and of course social media is an absolute breeding ground for psychopathic behavior that requires no empathy at all.   Billions of interactions happening everyday on the internet and no feeling or emotion is needed to convey all of these messages.

It is a dream set-up for those who have no empathy or care for others, and they use it each and every day to prey on good people.  And this certainly does not only occur on the internet, I am just saying that is the reason for the rapid growth of psychopathic behavior in society.  The individuals who have sprung from this are affecting people all around the globe each day, and because much of the behavior is covert and well planned out by 'intelligent' people, abuse continues to grow for the empaths and good people of the world.

We are being preyed upon daily and most of the time have no idea it is even happening until it is often too late.  Being abused by someone with a narcissistic personality disorder or a sociopath, especially over a long period of time, leaves the victim scarred and empty.  The victim has been abused for so long that all they can do is try to get away from their abuser, because we are left with very little energy for anything else, and if you try to fight back against the wrong-doer, they have already been carefully crafting lies and deceit behind your back which makes fighting near impossible.

We all have these people in our lives but very few can recognize them.  They walk amongst us as seemingly normal and friendly people, but they will stab you in the back at a moments notice, and have no remorse for their actions whatsoever.   They are often even revered in our communities because you only get to see their surface and they are very clever at presenting themselves well to others, and act as chameleons who will shift their behavior based on self-gain.

I am personally tired of being abused by these 'less than human' beings and have been studying for years about how to recognize them.  Although I am highly knowledgeable about what to look for I still get fooled by the more clever ones myself.  I had a thought yesterday that helped me put the recognition into a simpler perspective.

'A Narcissist will always tell you what you WANT to hear, whereas an empath (good and caring person) will always tell you what you need to hear!'   If someone is always flattering you and telling you what you want to hear, be wary of this person and do more research before freely giving away your trust.  If someone is telling you what you need to hear, they likely care about you and are trying to be honest.  It is so much easier to love the narcissist because they know exactly how to stroke your ego.

Here is my point; we lock people up in jails and prisons every single day for physically abusing others, so why are we not locking people up for abusing people emotionally, and knowingly.  In my opinion, these are the most evil and destructive people on the planet because they can not even face you head on.  I am against physical abuse of any kind but it is easier to get over the physical problems than the trauma they create.

We all know what differing types of trauma can do to an individual, so why are we allowing predators to continue their abusive emotional behavior?  Because it is so much harder to prove when we can not physically see the evidence, this is why narcissists and sociopaths use this form of abuse.  On top of that, the victim ends up so emotionally drained that there is no fight left in them.

I guarantee that most of you deal with these types of people on a daily basis and have not recognized them yet, but you can sense that something is wrong.  Explore your senses and look deeper.  Do a little reading about narcissists on the internet or join one of the many supports groups on Facebook and educate yourself.  There are thousands, if not millions, of people on the net talking about this and looking for abuse support.

This is a problem of epidemic proportions and the only way to overcome it is through awareness and exposure.  Stop letting these 'less than human' beings abuse others by taking a stand.  If you feel that something is wrong, then there probably is, but don't stop there.  Take action and learn the signs to protect yourself.  Take it from someone who has been abused long-term more than once, it will take its toll on you and cause a decline in your health.

Arm yourself with knowledge and expose these individuals for the abusers that they are.  Don't let them get away with their inhumane behavior anymore.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

The Path To 'Self': The Path To Peace

Hard times in life can cause much pain, but they also force us into a self-reflective state.   The great 'ego awakening' that is occurring in the world is happening, and this evolutionary upgrade is forcing everyone into self-reflection whether we like it or not.  Self-reflection is the path to our inner self, but our ego will resist at every corner.

After a time of personal self-reflection my personal goals have shifted into a more forward way of thinking once again.  I have been hoping to help others with mental health issues in the same way that society is.  I am learning that although counseling, therapy, medications and other medical help is easing the suffering of many, it is still just a 'band-aid' solution, and the system just keeps looking for more bandages instead of going to the source of the issues.

Just like when a part stops working on your car it must be fixed in order to have it operating in an optimal state.  Problems in our minds need to be repaired in the same way.  We cannot simply work backwards in the hopes that we will find the source, and hope that by doing so that we have fixed the problem.  We can use psychotherapy and other forms of therapy to find the sources of our mental issues, but the problem still needs to be fixed.   And the problems are all in the same place, no matter who you are!

All of our problems stem from the same place, our 'self'.  Every problem we have is based within our perception and not with the perceived problem itself.  The only way to stop the mental health epidemic we are faced with right now is to fix the source of it all.  If we begin to find ways to fix our 'self' then everything else will fall into place.

I had a discussion/argument with a narcissist once about how to truly help people fix their inner issues.  I was faced with the argument that we need to appear to be on the outside, who we want to be on the inside and therefore the only way to help someone improve their state of being is to work from the outside in.  This was a profound discovery for me because I had learned how completely messed up a person's way of thinking can be, and these people are thriving in our dysfunctional society.

The only way to help someone in this way is to start with their 'self', because without that, we are nothing.   Anyone who wants to be a better human has only one starting point, but getting in touch with our inner self is certainly not an easy task, especially when there are so many distractions around us at all times.

For years I have been researching philosophy and religions in the hopes that I would find some words or a simple premise to truly believe in.  Most of the philosophies I have studied are quite sound but the religions I have read all have similar issues at their base.  Any religion that is based in the betterment of human existence and wellness, I hope it will thrive in this new world.  If it based in power and control of their followers I wish them no harm, but I do know that those ones will fall apart on their own.  Karma has a way of doing that.

I have decided that I will move forward with the words of someone I believe to be one of the only truly enlightened beings on our planet at this time, Mr. Eckhart Tolle.  Through enlightenment and becoming completely awake, he has shared his path and journey to his greater understanding.  If you have every read his books you can easily see that the words come from an enlightened individual.

Many people have a hard time understanding his books because they have never been where he is now.  You first need to find your 'self' and be at peace with your own being before the words he shares will truly make sense.  If you are looking for your path to peace, the understanding of his words will certainly help you find your way.

If you are someone who is experiencing the awakening process and need a little help on your journey, Eckhart's books will literally speak to your conscious mind and show you the way.  If you are someone who is saying to yourself, 'I am already completely awake', that is your ego speaking and it loves to play games of illusion because that is all it has.  Tell it to be quiet because you are not fully awake at this time, I guarantee it.  If you were, your inner self would already be at peace and your ego would not be able to keep creeping into your thoughts.

Remember that you are not the 'thinker', you are the stillness that is watching the thinker.  This statement alone will awaken something within you right now that you may not recognize, but this is the self you are searching for.

As I am finding my own peace once again I can feel enlightenment right in front me, just out of reach.  I am re-reading Eckhart Tolle's books currently for the 'umpteenth' time in order to knock down my last couple of barriers.  I plan to blog about this as much as possible over the next few weeks to sort out some of the words I am reading.  Some of the explanations and words in his books can be difficult to understand for many, which I have learned from being part of a few discussion groups on Facebook.  I will share his words in a more simplistic way so that we can all better understand what he is trying to say.

I will not attempt to call Eckhart Tolle a 'prophet' at this point, but he is one of the closest people we have on Earth right now that would fit the definition.  His words are extremely important and need to be shared with all those who are trying to awaken to a better world.

The faster people awaken, the better the human race will become.  Many will be consumed by their egos and we can already see who those people are.  This is going to be a difficult journey for us all but I do believe there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Those who are recognizing ego in others are the 'awakened ones', while those who are consumed by their egos will continue to prey on the weak.

Just know that the only journey for you at this point is to awaken and find your 'self'.  When you find this you will finally know what peace is.  Once you find peace and can learn to exist in the present moment, whatever happens simply happens at that point.  Worry and anxiety disappear and your best 'self' will be ready to handle anything that is thrown at it.

Have a peaceful and glorious day!
Be Well

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Are All Narcissists Hypocrites?

Sometimes I will be reading an article and memories will pop into my head about my own past situations.  Although I am able to put things in the past and leave them there for the most part now, I still have flashbacks to the abusive workplace I spent too much time in.  Here is a positive thought that came to me this morning, we don't have to view all the bad memories as bad.  When our perspectives change over time we can learn to view our past in a very different light.

More often than not, I find myself giggling at certain memories in regards to my abusive narcissist, but the actual situations were anything but funny when they were happening.  This is one of the differences of understanding subjective and objective information.  Now that I have detached all emotion from my past situation, I am able to view memories in a more objective way, and some of Her (the narc) behaviours are absolutely hilarious when I look at them in another way.
I was reading an article this morning about narcissists and hypocrisy.  My educated guess at this point is that all those with NPD are also natural hypocrites.  I can say that my narc abuser is one of the worst hypocrites I have ever met.  I used to write down a word of the day for my students on a whiteboard, and we would talk about each one to promote intelligent discussion, and to improve vocabulary.  One word I left on the board for a few weeks near the end of my time there, was hypocrisy.

The funniest part is that the Narc had no idea that it was left there so others could discuss Her behaviour in a more open way.  The memory I had this morning made me chuckle for a bit so i thought I would share.  It is not the punch line of a joke, BUT it will add another example of tactics Narcs will use to keep you off balance.

We worked in a very small 'schoolroom' atmosphere, yet we used to get the dumbest memos, even when we were only a few feet away from each other.  One day we got the first memo, and there was list of words and phrases that we were no longer allowed to use in the building, because to her, they were not 'proper'.  Personally, i would get snapped at every time I used the phrase 'you guys'.  I mean She would literally get downright mad at me. Remember, I am an intelligent man in my forties being treated like a child at this point.  Ahh,  one of the Narc tactics.

The one that made me giggle was the day we were told not to use the word BUT anymore, and that we were to find ways to change the way we speak and write so that this word would be used no longer in the building.  Not 2 hours later, we received another memo about something totally different, and I counted 3 BUTs in the short memo.  When I brought this to the attention of the Narc, I was told that she used it the proper way so it was okay for her to do so, BUT we are not to use it.  I think I just defined the word Hypocrisy for you all right there.

I share this example so you can see another simple tactic used by narcs.  People outside of the circle don't ever see the how messed up the narc is because there is not just one thing that they do that makes them a narcissist. It is not like there is a sign on their forehead telling you they are evil, they use a bunch of little things to erode and tear you down slowly and painfully.  Hypocrisy is just another tool they use to keep you off balance and out of control.

The more you educate yourself and the more you remain objective, the easier it is to identify a narcissist when you encounter one.  They will prey on your subjectivity constantly, and will do everything they can to keep you from ever being objective, because once you have viewed their true behaviours objectively, they can no longer fool you.  And that is when they will dispose of you!  They will find a new supply, and this cycle never stops for the narc, they will not change.

Are all narcissists hypocrites?  A lot of the research would point to yes, but there is no definitive research that can simply say yes.  I have not met a narc who is not a hypocrite personally, and I would theorize that all narcs are hypocrites though.  It is a tool that can be used to create imbalance in the victim, and narcs come well-armed with these types of tools.

When you see someone being hypocritical, look for other narc factors that you may find in the DSM, and there is good chance that you have spotted a narc.  I also know all the current research states No Contact as the best way to deal with Narc Abuse, BUT I also know that there comes a time when someone must fight back.  Start learning about your abuser/enemy so that you can eventually find a way to stop them.  I guarantee it will make you feel much better, BUT make sure you are very careful, in a good place mentally, and that you know your enemy very well first.

Once you do, help others by putting a stop to them.  I know this part is easier said than done, BUT we can certainly try our best and no give these narcs freedom to abuse others.

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

We Have To Stand Up To Bullies At Some Point

I always know I am searching for a solution to a problem when I start writing again.  The focus of my blog has been to put things into perspective and to heal along the way.  Also my hopes are to help others with the insight I share.  My personal goals have twisted and turned along the way, but always in a forward motion towards personal growth and better health, mentally and physically.

As my life's purpose begins to evolve, I am finding that although I am at peace with mostly everything in my life and I am moving forward much more quickly now, the lingering feeling of unease is still there.  That lingering feeling is that there is still a bullying narcissist abusing good people in my community, and I am tired of being a bystander.

I did not want to become a bystander in the first place, and would have fought the good fight at the time the psychological abuse was happening to me, but i was too broken and worn down to keep going.  I still find it amazing that one person can destroy another so willingly and then continue to do it to others, and appear to increase their personal success along the way.  I think it is time for that to stop now.  Time to not just use my words here, but to truly get to the streets and do something about the problem. 

I will be starting with asking people to boycott the Literacy Alliance of West Nipissing and to demand that the bully be investigated thoroughly.  The pattern of employees leaving that place is quite evident and each one of them one abused in their own way.  The problem is that the abuse is continuing and nobody is putting a stop to, and the Board is just enabling it to worsen.  I keep hoping these so-called educated people will open their eyes and see the problem right in front of them, but i suppose they are only worried about their own image and reputations.

Since nobody else has the ability or strength to tackle this problem, I suppose I will use a little of my energy to see what I can do.  I have already talked to many people in the community and made them aware of the problems that exist, and it seems they are ready to stand with me when I am ready. 

I am thinking that the nicer weather is quickly approaching, and taking to the streets will encounter more people enjoying the nice weather.  This is not just a one on one issue because the people involved are what the community would call VIP's, and I expect that I will be faced with a lot of backlash.  This is to be expected though when fighting a corrupt system and self-serving people who will do anything to protect their precious reputations. 

I look forward to engaging some of you in the near future, and if you want to be part of this stand against bullies please email or message me anytime and we can discuss what to do next.  I understand that I will have to help people decipher the truth because they have been fed so much illusion by the narcissists involved.  They have marketed their image and made people believe they are someone they are not.  I suppose all I have to do is remove their masks and let people formulate their own opinions.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Using Music To Fight Back

If you have read my blog for a while you will know that I tend to write for a series of articles and then pause for quite a while afterwards.  I am highly reflective and although this form of communication helps work out my thoughts and challenges, it also brings new questions that sometimes take weeks to work out.  I will share my example.

Over the past 2 years I had a lot of healing to do, but I did not let my poor health stop me from planning along the way and planting seeds which would help as I moved forward.  I have challenged myself along the way as well, and each challenge completed brought new opportunities.  If my highly active brain is nothing else, it is patient and loves to plan and problem-solve.  I finally used this natural skill and applied it to my own life in every possible aspect along the way.

Anyone who has read my articles on narcissism knows that I have had some resentment issues to work out along the way, and I have done my best to deal with them in positive ways, but I also could not help and poke the narcissists in my life when I got the chance.  It provided a little short term satisfaction I suppose, but the true intent of it was to create a little anxiety and fear in the narcs in an attempt to spark some sort of empathetic reaction, but I am guessing all I caused was feelings of fear and frustration. I think they use to call this 'tit for tat'.

I always had a few long term goals for if and when I had healed from the psychological abuse I suffered at the hands of a toxic 'Queen Bee' narcissist.  One of the goals that drove me was having the ability to finally fight back in a positive and meaningful way so that the abuse of others will stop.  When I say fight back, I mean to expose the behaviours of the narcissists involved and hopefully have them removed from their public positions at some point in the future.

I am tired tonight so I will do my best to keep this short and to the point.  I have 'poked' at the narcs along the way, but I believe at some point it will be time to 'shove' them.  The hard part was determining how to do that and still serve my own inner purpose at the same time.  I knew that I would require recognition and have a way to get the attention of people in order to fight my fight, but talk about a difficult task for a guy who is quite humble and does not like that sort of attention.

Well I found a way, and I also found some of my gifts from all the pain and suffering I was caused, and they will also give me the ability to gain the attention I require in a positive way.  I took a moderate skill I had been working at for 30 years and finally went for it, I learned to truly play my guitar very well, and my singing voice has improved dramatically over the past few months.  I also have used my writing abilities to create several songs for an album i am currently putting together.
You can check out some of my progress here if you like Rational Rhythms

My point is that I want to push back and expose issues in my small community and I now have the means and strength to do so.  Good local musicians get a lot of recognition here because there is little to do and they stand out in the small crowd.  I am going to use my music to reach out to the public and share my stories along the way.  If my pokes didn't bother my enemies too much, I expect my future 'pushes' will hit home in a much more meaningful way.

Narcissists are completely consumed with their public image, so if you are looking to fight back, start there.  Don't slander or do anything illegal, just get the attention of those around and tell the truth.  That is how we take bullies down! 

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Time To Create Action

I have obviously not written in a while, but thought i would share a quick note today.  I have been focusing my time on music and song writing, and have little energy left to type on my keyboard at the end of the day.  The results of my practice are excellent, and are moving my plans forward to sharing my knowledge on the streets this coming spring. 

I share this to let you know that good things can come out of psychological abuse, but it is certainly hard to see those things when our minds are trapped in the darkness created by narcissists and sociopaths in our world.  The fun part is truly starting now for me, and the healing is almost complete.  After more than 2 years!!

Now that I have dealt with my resentment issues directed towards my abuser, I am finding so much more peace than I ever have in my life.  I learned much, but the lessons were definitely not easy.  I will be taking my new skills to the streets soon and fighting back against our local systems in a positive way.  I do have certain targets who have lessons to learn, and I can't help but look forward to this part of it, and it also reminds me that all of my resentment is not completely eradicated or I would still get feelings of delight at the thoughts of retribution.

Either way, all I have to do is continue to grow and be ME, and the fruits of my labours will spring up all around me.  It is happening all around me as I re-engage the world.  For those who still creep my blog and social media to check up on me, I am offering a friendly reminder that I am still here, and you will all be hearing a lot more about me in the coming months.

 I have enjoyed many of the rumours being shared about me too, they give me something to chuckle about from time to time.  Especially when I likely started half of them just to identify who would share them freely.  I do appreciate you identifying yourselves so I have a better idea of who to watch out for in my future journey.

I look forward to seeing many of you in the coming months, because whether the experience is good or bad for you, it will be growth for both of us.  I just get the feeling I will enjoy it much more than they will.

Know thy enemy, but know them without judgment if you truly want to be prepared!

Namaste and good day