Thursday, November 30, 2017

Fighting Back At Narcissism With Satire

If you have ever been abused or negatively affected by the behaviours of a narcissist, you will know that there is little, or nothing humorous about it at all.  Yet I have decided to poke a little fun at my own narcissist abuser by creating satirical stories about her.  I am using only true accountings of her actions and a name that sounds similar, but is a lot more fun.

It is easy to toxify our inner self with the negative thoughts and emotions that come along with memories of narcissist abuse, and I have had my share of those. As I search for and test ways to fight back at narcissists in a proper and meaningful way, it is difficult not to let the bad thoughts and feelings take over.

After re-reading the first 60 pages of my book, I can sense my frustration in the words, and although they are truthful and emphatic, they still leave me feeling a little pissed off rather than relieved.  I discovered I need a more positive way to present the story, so I plan to practice a more satirical approach which I am hoping will be more empowering to the reader, while still getting my points across. And if I happen to poke fun at the images of local narcissists along the way, well I am okay with that, but have a feeling that they won't like my portrayal of them very much.

The antics of a narcissist can be quite comical to watch when you clearly know what you are seeing, and when you can be objective about what you see.  It is horrible being abused, but once you can detach your emotions from it, it looks very different.  I am hoping that by creating a 'lighter' side to narcissist abuse, I will be able to offer a different perspective to the issue. The less anger and frustration the abused person has towards their abuse, the easier it will be to cope.

So why not find a funny or satirical way to have a little fun with the narc?  I expect this method will be more effective than mere truth because the narc will just lie herself through things as she defends herself and finds ways to further smear the victim.  Instead, the humorous approach allows the truth to still be exposed, while offering the narc something that is less easy to defend.

It is another way to draw the narcissist out from behind their team of flying monkeys because she will eventually have to go on the defense.  She has spent much too long in the offensive position and I am about to change that.  I got tired of the defense position and left the game a while back.  Now that I have healed and have the strength, I think I deserve a chance in offense for a change! 

Narciisists of the world, prepare to defend yourselves! New research and tools are been developed all the time for narcissist abuse victims, and I plan to play my part as both a victim and mental health worker.  I hope I will offer a few things over time which will help you fight back too. Fighting back is a big part of the healing process because you get the ability to rebuild your self esteem and confidence.

Satire is s newer form of writing for me, but I am finding it enjoyable.  Once I finish the first couple I will get them posted here and introduce you to the characters involved.
Have a great day everyone and be well

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

From Peace To Purpose: Awakening and Narcissm

Why do I continue to focus on fighting back against narcissists when I could easily let it go and move on?  I have learned to let go of the past in all aspects of my life, but just because we let things go, it does not mean the memories and lessons have disappeared.  I view 'letting go' of things as no longer allowing the memories to hold me back or drag me down.  This is a difficult thing for abuse victims to do, but it is possible!

So how do we let things go when they continue to haunt our thoughts?  Narcissistic abuse is designed to keep these feelings going on a constant basis so that you never get relief, stay in an uncontrolled state of mind, and keep going until you crash.  Most current research states that the best way to heal is to leave the situation and have 'no contact' with the narc.  

What this does is give you a chance to deal with those things haunting your mind, and start rationalizing your conflicted feelings once again.  This could take weeks, months and even years to do depending on the level of abuse suffered.  Again, it is one thing to let go of the toxic thoughts and feelings over time, but another to begin rebuilding your confidence and self esteem  As a mental health worker, I agree a promote the idea of no contact with my clients, but I do not stop there.

I teach from a place of knowledge and experience, and share what works, and what doesn't.  For today I am focusing on what to do once you have let things go and have brought balance back to your self.  Even though we heal the 'self', the problem still exists out there in the social world.  For some of us, we can let that go and move onto other things, but for people like me who have a deep desire to see social justice done, I can not simply let the problem go, just the negative things within myself.

Dealing with the problem can be a huge part of the healing experience.  There are three basic premises for behaviours and I will use them here because they are quite relevant to my explanation.  There are passive (permissive is a commonly used term as well) people in the world who will always be passive, and there is nothing wrong with this, the world needs a balance of each behaviour type.  After healing the 'self', a passive person can move on without holding onto the social aspect of abuse.  I am not a passive person, so I will look to the next behaviour.

Authoritative (aggressive is the other behaviour commonly used here but I am using authoritative for my own purposes)  people will not simply be able to let go after healing, and will often look for ways to fight back in aggressive ways.  They will often feel anger and frustration that will not simply dissipate, and this will likely fuel their efforts to fight back, and if they cannot let go of these negative feelings and thoughts, they will never be able to fully heal unless they can find something to appease their inner toxicity.  I am not an authoritative person, so I must be in the third behavioural group.

I am kind and empathetic, but certainly not passive.  I am peaceful in nature most of the time, and do not take an authoritarian approach to life, so therefore I must be Assertive.  This is a balanced combination of both.  I can let simple wrongs slide by, and I don't need to be in charge of situations, but I also don't allow stupidity to run freely around me.  I like to right wrongs where I see them while also bringing balance and peace to the world.

I have let go of the past and it does not weigh me down in any way right now.  I am at peace.  Here is the thing, peace is wonderful, but also boring after a while.  If life were meant to be simply boring and peaceful, we would all meditate all day and the world as we know it would fall apart.  Eckhart Tolle teaches the Power of Now, which is essentially find peace in the present moment.  He has led  many people around the world to peace and I commend him highly for that.  He helped me greatly along my own path and I am grateful, but he missed the next step that humanity needs.

We need purpose and something to drive us to get out of bed each day.  If you want to be passive and live and peace, all the power to you!  If you want to be authoritarian narcissist, feel free to do so, but you will be preying on the passive people of the world, and guess what, us assertive beings don't like that so much!  The empathetic assertive persons of the world are here to bring balance back by protecting the passive, but also by fighting the authoritarians.

The authoritarian narcissists will continue to grow and expand their power and wealth if nobody stops them, and it is certainly not the passive people who will do it. Peace will only last as long as there is balance in these social behaviours, so if you are passive person you may want to change your way of thinking.  Find peace, but once you do, find purpose.  Once you discover how wonderful peace is, you want to have it all the time, but again, peace cannot exist when our world is out of balance, so essentially if you are living in simple peace right now, then you have become part of the problem.

In the middle of all this are a handful of assertive people out there trying to find ways to bring balance back to the chaos being created around us.  I see this being solved in one of two ways, or maybe both combined; the assertive people will bring down the authoritarians in one way or another, or we will find ways to gather the passive beings and turning them into assertive beings as well.  Either way will begin to bring balance back, and both together would work even faster.

I know i am a little 'off the rails' today but this is a large discovery that I am attempting to solve for myself.  So on the greater picture of things I will try to put it all together now.  There is a reason why my articles are all over the place, from awakening to enlightenment, to mental health and to narcissism, because they all tie together in the larger scope of things.  There is a great imbalance in the world right now and our social systems are falling apart.  We can see a growth in narcissism and evil, but also in empathetic beings.  

I found inner peace a long while back, but outer peace is another thing completely.  Inner peace is blissful and I could have easily stayed there for the rest of this existence.  You will not find a drug in the world that will make you feel that good, and it was natural.  It did take a lot of pain and suffering over the years to get there though, and it was all worth it.  After a few months of this I got very bored.  I was content and pain free, but something was still missing, purpose.

After re-engaging the world, I found more pain and suffering and often asked myself why I was, and am still putting myself through it.  There past few years have been rough, but the things I have learned not only kept me going, but have begun to show their purposes.  There is a war going on around us and most people can't even begin to see it, yet I can see it clearly!  I urge everyone to find peace, but also not to stop there.  Find peace and then find your purpose.

I several current purposes and this blog is one of them.  It helps me to solve social issues by not only explaining them to my self here, but also to share with others who are trying to solve these issues.  NPD is at times an overwhelming issue, and I can almost guarantee that every one has been affected by it in one way or another.  The narcs are the authoritarians, and if you have been abused, you have been likely pushed into a passive state of being. If you are in a passive state, use it to find peace and stop letting yourself be abused.

Once you find peace, you will find the power and strength to become an assertive being again.  Not only will you have peace, but you will also start fulfilling your inner purpose.  Your inner purpose is likely frustrated and angry at a narcissist if you are reading this, and that is exactly how you are supposed to be feeling.  Your passive brain is telling you to just let it go and that maybe it will get better.  It won't on its own!

Get away from the Narc, practice no contact, find peace and heal, then serve your inner purpose.  You have to believe you have suffered for a reason, and you have!  You needed to learn what it feels like to be abused so you can use your empathy skills to help others!  That is your purpose! Remember this though, you cannot pour from an empty cup, so always make sure you have the strength to fight before you do, or you may become an angry authoritarian as well.

I am practicing my assertiveness here once again, and I plan to both help the passive while bringing down the authoritarians.  It must be my purpose, because every step I take on this path brings me both strength and peace at the same time.  I hope you find peace and then join the fight to bring balance back to the force.  May the force be with you!

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

"The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth"

This statement from the Christian Bible is widely known and has many different interpretations.  As someone who was born and raised as a Christian, I have heard it many times and wondered what the true meaning is.  Now that I am what you may call an agnostic, I still have many of root beliefs within the words of Christianity, and although I am not what you would consider a practicing Christian, I still see Jesus as one of my top three philosophers.

As the world has evolved and changed over the past 2000 years, it is difficult to say exactly what the words in the Bible mean because the perception of the writers at that time would be completely different than our perception of the world that we have now.  We do have histories that show that there was a huge imbalance in human rights due to the Roman conquest, and when you look at things in modern terms, the world has become quite similar once again.  We all know what is referred to when talk about the 'one percent' who rule the world.

So if we consider the statement, "The meek shall inherit the Earth', and view it in lateral perceptions, who is being referred to as 'the meek', and why will they inherit the Earth?

I have often pondered this question throughout my life, but it was not until I woke up completely that I began to understand what the answer is.  If you Google the word meek, the definition that comes up is this, 'quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on; submissive'.  People with these qualities certainly don't seem like the type who could conquer or 'inherit' the current world, do they?  So either the statement is false, or there is something that we are missing.

I believe that Jesus understood the world and had answers to things that we still don't understand fully, so I assume the statement to be true for this purpose.  I have a knowledgeable take on what the 'awakening' process is, and have been watching its evolution for many years.  As I have been waiting for others to wake up and begin to recognize their ego for what it is, I have been researching anything I could find and wrote millions of words about it.

The 'ego awakening' that is happening right now finally made sense to me when I came in contact with the books of Eckhart Tolle.  I thought I may be losing my mind at the time, but realized after reading his book a few years back that what was happening to me was normal, it was just rare at the time so I felt out of place.

We have entered a paradox in the evolutionary process where we have learned to recognize our ego and mind for what it is.  Once the awakening process begins there are only two ways to go, we can take control of our ego or be consumed by it, and believe me, it is so much easier to be consumed by it, and this why those who are taking control are having such a hard time functioning in the world right now.

We look around and all we can see is masses of people who are completely consumed by their egos, and the current world is designed for them to thrive.  It is difficult to watch evil succeed while good seems to be waning at every corner.

Recognize the ego for what it is; a collective dysfunction, the insanity of the human mind. -Eckhart Tolle 

What does recognizing the ego mean?  It means to recognize our mind for the processor that it is and realize that this is not who we are.  If that makes sense to you, you are likely waking up right now, if it does not make sense then you likely have not found this within yet.  Don't worry, evolution won't leave you out of the process, you just may not be able yet to handle what you find.  Recognizing your ego is the beginning and the most difficult part of the journey.

Although the initial awakening can be quite a blissful state to be in, don't let your ego  fool you into thinking that it was simply that easy.  Recognizing your ego starts you down the path of self-reflection, and most people like to resist this path because we are afraid of what we will find.  If the ego continues to resist, it will eventually consume you and your true self will be lost in the world that has been created for us.  You become a slave to the system.

If you can handle the self-reflective state, I recommend you begin to take time each day to pay attention to what you are finding even if it makes you feel badly.  Until you resolve the things you find, they will continue to feed your ego and you will eventually lose your inner battle.  Humble yourself before what you find and the rewards are waiting there for you.  The reward is peace.  Each time you resolve an inner issue, you move a step closer to finding the peace of your inner self.

Here is where the 'meek' part comes in.  Once we calm our minds and our ego loses its control over us, our true self begins to emerge.  The true self is the same for every person on the planet, but most of them are hidden behind their enormous egos.  The true self wants peace and happiness, it is that simple.  The true self does not want to suffer but knows that it must at times if it wants to remain in this existence.  Acceptance of this fact removes suffering once it is truly understood.

You will know you are wide awake when all you want is peace.  If you find other things throughout the day that takes away from your peace then that is simply your ego trying to get involved again.  Focus on peace until it becomes natural and you don't need to force it anymore.

What you will find eventually is that you will become a kinder and more gentle person, but don't mistake this for weakness.  The more humbled you become to life itself, the more peaceful your existence will be.  Some may even begin to refer to you as being 'meek'.

As we 'wake up', we begin to realize what is truly important, instead of being told what is important. I would assume that humans from the past such as Jesus or Buddha would be seen as being 'meek', especially by the rich and powerful, but I don't think anyone now would assume their words and actions to be 'meek'.

I don't know about you, but if being meek means being more like Jesus or Buddha, then I am in.  And if the 'meek shall inherit the Earth', then the world would certainly be a better place with people like that running it.

Although there are several philosophies on conscience and consciousness, I like to believe that humans are created with innate goodness, and we simply have to find it.  Certainly the world would not move forward at such a rapid rate, and the progress of goods and services would likely decline, but the depth and ethical value of the human spirit would increase at rapid rates.

I don't know about you but I hope the statement in the title of this article is true because that is a future to hope for.  That is the future I want for our children and their children.  We have created a horrible world to bring more children into and I believe it is our responsibility to fix it for them

Millions of people believe the Bible to be prophetic, and in this instance I hope their beliefs to be accurate.  I believe we are going to see some horrible things in the world in the near future, and many horrible things are already happening.  Prepare yourself by finding your inner peace so you take care of what is important to you when the priorities of the world change.

Be one of the 'meek' and inherit this world so you can help to make it better for generations to come.

Monday, November 27, 2017

Empathy: The Cure For Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

There is a skill that Narcissists are missing and they covet it above all else.  They have a partial, or complete lack of Empathy, and will stop at nothing to try and acquire it.  This is the reason that naturally empathetic people are very often victims to the narc.  It is not like they can steal our empathy from us, so what is their strategy?

Narcissists are 'ego' beings, and they use the illusion of themselves to control their environments with their behaviour.  The ego is a very powerful human tool and narcissists wield it like a weapon to constantly protect their cowardly core, or their 'self'.  They have little or no empathy because they loathe their true self and use their ego to protect their illusion of self. Yet their ego knows how important empathy and compassion are when living in the social world.  Without it, they would never be able to gain the trust needed in the first place to start abusing their victims.

So how do they gain empathy?  They don't!  They mimic or mirror empathy when their ego sees it in others.  They will spend weeks and months mirroring your behaviours so that they can learn how to appear empathetic to others.  In my opinion, this is what makes a narcissist more dangerous than any other people on the planet.  They are evil and self loathing at their core, yet they can appear to be the most caring and compassionate people on the outside. 

This begins to leave every person you meet in question.  How do you know you have met a narcissist who is simply displaying empathy, as opposed to someone who is actually empathetic? I wish there was a simple answer I could share, or a quick test you could do to identify a narc, but there is no definitive way to do so.  There are things you can look for though.

It is one thing to have empathy and to be able to use this skill, but it is another thing to mirror it, because if the narc has never mirrored certain aspects of empathy then it simply won't be a tool at their disposal.  For example, if we see an animal being abused, an empathetic person will display concerned and caring behaviours and expressions, whereas a narc will not know what they are supposed to feel until they watch an empathetic person do so.  If they have never mirrored it, their behaviours and expressions will not match the situation.

The more a narcissist mirrors good people, the most kind and caring they can learn to appear.  That is why they prey on empathetic people.  That is their strategy.  Surround themselves with kind and caring people so that they can observe and mimic their behaviour.  Here is the tough part.  I would suppose that this could be a good thing, and that narcissists could learn to be more caring people if they continued to learn this way, but their core self does not change through this process and their ego illusion continues to grow.

If you consider yourself a naturally empathetic person, you have likely been preyed upon by a narc at some point in your life already, but at the time we just did not know it.  So, how do we protect ourselves from the nasty effects of NPD on the victims?  I will continue to say that educating yourself is the best first step.  There is an explosion of information on narcissism out there, and although not all of it is good information, there is an abundance of well researched words in regards to this issue.  The more you learn about it, the better you can protect yourself.

I have learned to protect myself for the most part, and can usually identify a narc within about 5 minutes of conversation now, but I can still be fooled as well I am sure.  So I continue to educate myself, keep myself protected from predators, but in the mean time I have decided to take a more aggressive approach by finding ways to fight back.  We have lived in a defensive position long enough in regards to all of the narcissists running the system, and now we must find a way to go on the offense.

It is my personal belief that the naturally empathetic people of the world will be the first ones to be able to identify the evil of narcissism on our planet.  There is a rise of theories in regards to lightworkers, empaths, starseeds, and all kinds of other magical thinking being shared, but it all has some merit at its core.  Each theory has the same premise at its core in regards to the growth of empathy and compassion, and although the ideologies are quite odd, and believe me some of them are 'out there' in their way of thinking, they explain the evolutionary need for kinder human beings.

What does it take to create a kinder and more compassionate human being? Empathy is the answer to that!  The change on our planet right now has to do with our evolutionary need for unity.  Unity will only come once people become more caring and kind.  Empathy is the cure to narcissism and the Empaths of the world will be kind of like the doctors in this regard.  We will go on the offense and teach human kindness and compassion, even if we have to force it down the throats of the Narcs.

Here is your thought for the day.  How do we force human kindness and compassion onto others, and can we teach the narcissists how to be empathetic?  I don't have this answer yet, although I continue to work on it in my research.  I do know this, the key to teaching a narcissist is to get them to do something they have never done before, to reflect upon their true self.  This is a terribly difficult task because the last thing a narc wants to look at it their true self, they are happy with the ego illusion they have created.

 If you can find a way though, you may be the first to discover the cure to this overwhelming evil spreading across our planet.