Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Exposing Narcissists Is The Only Recourse?

It is often difficult to identify the most pressing problems in the world right now because everyone has their own subjective feelings in regards to priorities. I have had to jump around a bit in my scope of writing, while on my journey to find answers and solutions to problems I see.  I wrote about awakening for a bit because that is happening right now in the world, and there is very little good information out there to help along the way.

What I have learned is that narcissism and sociopathy are growing issues surrounding us, and this problem seems to be at the source of many others.  The more narcissists in society, the more people being abused by them and their evil nature.  They will prey on anyone who will let them, or who fall for their charms, and it is very easy to do this.  They can pretend to be anyone they want to be, emulate qualities of a good person, and are like chameleons as they mirrors your behaviors in order to trap you in their web.

I use my own experiences to help others gain a better understanding of the problem, but also to deal with the turmoil I was caused, and to clear out the demons created for me by the narcissist in my stories.  I have been used and abused by narcissists throughout my life as I am prone to this.  Being an empathic and kind human, I may as well have a flashing red light on the top of my head that asks narcs to come and abuse my good nature.  We are the perfect prey for them!

They will do everything in the beginning to love bomb the hell out of us and get us to believe in them as good people.  This can go on for a very long period of time and it will seem like the best relationship professionally or personally that you have ever found.  That is why when the ball later drops, it is not only hard to see, it is hard to accept that this person could be so evil behind closed doors.  The public will never get to see the narc for who they are, and those being abused will likely never get their retribution towards their abuser.  They will simply be shunned and smeared by the narc.

I worked at a literacy agency for a couple of years, and this is how I was treated, and how others are still being treated.  It is kind of like being in a prison camp where all of your actions are scrutinized and used against you, and everything is designed by the narc to keep you out of control, off balance, and have you feeling like you are losing your mind most of the time.  Again, this is by design of the narc, and is so they can have absolute control of who you are.  It is absolutely exhausting, especially when it is relentless and you have no recourse because those who could help are clueless about this.

This boss's bosses don't ever get to see the evil behaviors of the narc because they are cleverly hidden from them.  Narcissists are very good at keeping these people separated so they can have complete control of both sides.  My problem is that if the bosses cannot see the patterns or sense the exhaustion of the employees, then they simply are not looking closely enough and they likely don't want to rock the boat and get on the bad side of the narc either.  She is very clever and kind of scary I suppose.

Although I have healed and moved on from my experience in this abusive environment, I still struggle with letting go of the fact that others are still being abused in the same way I was.  I care about people and I cannot easily stand by and watch as people are being treated poorly and unfairly.  I also know that I am very educated in the ways of narcs and sociopaths now and have no fear of them at all anymore.  If I was my abuser, I would be nervous as hell right now.

I am certainly not out to hurt anyone in any physical sense because that is not in my nature.  I do know that I have removed most of my 'flight' instinct over the past several years and live most of my time in 'fight' mode now.  As I removed all of my past conflicts from within over the past few years and mostly found the peace I have been searching for, I find that I am content with life, but still have difficulty letting go of my last abusive situation.  It is partly because I am still upset at the damage it did to me, but also because I know the problem is still there, and likely getting worse by now.

Narcs only ever get worse as they age.  They become more alone in their personal lives, they age poorly due to their evil nature, and they loathe themselves more and more each day.  This is not a reason to feel sorry for them though, and if they could find a way to use this to control you more, they will!  I  know that I still don't have much recourse to work with at this point, but by exposing narcissistic behaviors along with my personal experiences, I hope to show others what to look for, and to show them what they are missing along the way.

I would ask others to look at the patterns of abuse by seeing the turn over in employees every year to year and half or so in the workplace, and ask the boss's bosses if they have ever questioned the employees who have left to ask them why.  Instead each one of them gets shoved out the door, and often explained away as the person have mental health issues.  If they didn't have mental health issues before working here, why did they have them when they left?  I would ask the board to add insight into that one issue.  I would also ask them to take a closer look at the exhaustion on the faces of the current employees and find out what is causing it.   Or you could simply continue to allow the narc to have free reign to treat employees however she sees fit.

Other than the book I am writing about this situation and the other corrupt behaviors in my municipality, I have no other way of fighting back against this social inequity, so it is my hope that this will help get my message out there. In a perfect world, the narc would be exposed and the actual 'good' people will step in and fix the problem.  For now it seems that the abuser continues to thrive and create more false illusions of doing good things, and that can be quite frustrating for the many who have been abused without recourse, and for those who know the actual truth.